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Some of the characters heard on GB3KD... (under reconstruction)
(tip) hover your mouse over some pictures
Note: All inaccuracies are deliberate!
Adrian is the new, young, dynamic, KRG chairman. He's also known as: "Luke Duke", "Power Loins", and "Mucker"
Likes: The Lovely Ann, Vodka & Red Bull, Socks, Going to the Gym, Riding bikes and motorbikes, curry.
Favourite Book: Confessions of a Driving Instructor
"I've realigned the interface Cap'n, but she's not gonna take much more of this!"
Scotty is GB3KD's Chief Engineer, responsible for making stuff and making it work. He's also KRG treasurer in his spare time.
Every few weeks, he likes to pilot his trusty shuttlepod to the nearest green planet for some rest, along with his canine companion.
Timeout Toby, G4YGT
| The Cradley Heathen, 2E0FGT
Mark is the chieftain of a fearsome tribe from the Black Country, who speak a strange language. More... |
Gee One Dee See You Mobilay (A very Nice Man) "All we do is move rubbish round the country"Paul's main job is chief motorway inspector and GB3KD coverage tester, but he does a little moon-lighting for the AA in his spare time. He's often to be heard parked up at a motorway services with his feet on the dashboard and a microphone in his hand. If there's a VOIP link in the area, Paul will find it! | |
 "Just lie back and relax love; I'll do all the moving."
|  Paul in 1989, with hair!!! Ha ha ha
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 "All this sitting around plays havoc with one's figure!"
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Watch out coffin-dodgers, Matthew is on the scene, and he's waiting to take your place!
Click on the kinky yellow undies for Matthew's own web site.
Alternative phonetics: "Keen Young Upstart", "Kiss Your Uncle"
Likes: Girlfriends, Computers, Gadgets, Radio, Electronics, Making aerials, Things that work first time
Hates: Weak signals, Things that work for a while then dont, Sleeve dipoles, Jammers.
Graham is Matthew's dad, and used to hold the callsign M3KYY. His latest callsign is "Two Ee Zero Great Almighty Timeout" on account of his habit of timing out GB3KD!
Another ex-BT man, Jim is mainly active on 20m SSB chasing special calls, prefixes, castles and lighthouses (and tilting at windmills perchance?)
During the summer months however, he is often heard on GB3KD using his trusty handheld whilst walking or cycling the canal towpaths. Another of his hobbies is collecting telephone cards.
Favourite Expressions: "Incidentally"
Alternative Phonetics: The subject of much research. "G3ZQ squared" has been used
Distinctive Markings: Red trousers
"Hello Kiddermeister. Is there anyone in there? This is Wilber, trying."
Wilber is 86 years young, and lives on a smallholding in Missouri with his XYL Jenny-May (who's also a ham) and donkey "Alexander The Great". He's often heard on GB3KD in the late afternoon, talking with Matthew, Toby or Eddie. He served in the US Navy, and was over here during the war years.
Favourite topics: Food, food and food.
Roy spends most of his time burning fossil fuels and wrecking 4x4's in muddy fields, but in his spare time he also runs the CB radio and coffee shop in Lea Street.
His nickname, and the alternative "The Phantom Conker Dropper" derive from the fact that he gives conkers to kids, and leaves them lying around. He spreads conker trees around, and is single-handedly responsible for the existence of most of the conker trees in Kiddy. A sort of carbon offsetting gesture...
"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated - when I have a spare moment"
Paula was nicknamed "Marigold" by Timeout Toby, because she always seemed to be doing the washing up, wearing that brand of rubber gloves.
One of the more creative uses she found for a rubber glove was to fix a leaking tap.
Alternative Phonetics: "Paula's Zany Transmissions", "Proper Zany Tart", "Pacific Zanzibar Texas", "Pretty Zebra Tail"
Loves: Sunshine, Curry, Cornwall, Chocolate, Clubbing, Cats, Cleaning, Horses, Photography, Trance, Hard House and Hip Hop, Alcohol, Nature, Reading, Quiet.
Hates: Computers, Email, Modern technology, The sound of "desk microphones", Single Sideband, Rain, Stuff that melts rubber gloves, Racism, Radio 2
Favourite Expressions: "You know" (apparently?)
"The timeout is three minutes. Please shorten your overs!"
Audrey is the voice of GB3KD. She is an enigma. Some people think of her as a spinster aunt, cane in hand, waiting to punish naughty time-outters. Others imagine a well bred, confident and sophisticated young lady, not long out of finishing school. She is what the listener wants her to be.
Shhh! Even looking at this picture might get you shot.
The secret listener hears everything, but must remain anonymous.
You must now eat this page.
Hates: Computer stations laughing at texts which RF users can't see
"Rogues gallery? I don't consider myself a rogue!"
"Got any weed mate? I wanna get back up there"
"I'm too intelligent for the people I'm working for"
"I'm very popular with people, 'cos I like to chat"
Likes: Miss Piggy, Beer, Talking, Growing "herbs", Cooking, Inspecting canal towpaths, Speaking in foreign tongues, Cricket, Kidderminster Harriers FC, Collecting hats, Liverpool FC, Cider
Hates: Tesco, Women's Lib, Technical stuff, Speed
Favourite Expressions: "Bloody", "At the end of the day", "You'm better on the input", "CQ CQ CQ...", "Of course, I'm higher than the repeater", "Indigenous", "you know", "I mean", "I'm only an operator", "So there you go"
Kuith hails from a distant land called Smerrick, where they talk funny, but he always says the Kidderminsterites don't "talk proper". Reputedly, GB3KD was named after his initials.
Likes: Eating
Hates: Routers
Loves: Radio, 10m, 2m, wheels
Hates: Being stationary
We don't hear enough of Ann (without an E) over the air.
Likes: Boots, Gardening, Plants, Keeping Mucker in his place
Hates: Solicitors, The Range, HF beams
If you want a QSO in the middle of the night, Bob's your man. Often heard working ZL-land via 'KD at 4am, Bob is a chronic insomniac. He also tends to be around at 7am and 5pm, working his friend to and from work.
If you hear Mike, you won't immediately recognise him, because he always gets his own callsign wrong, i.e. M3ELF. Come to think of it, we're not even sure what his callsign is any more...neither is he!
Likes: Listening 'KD, The Roundhead, PMR446, Renewable energy, Old cars, Wales, Coffee, Tits
Hates: Charging his phone, Remembering people's phone numbers, connecting a microphone to Echolink, buying a decent aerial.
C'mon Mike, get on KD more often and tell us about yourself!....
Doc never sleeps, and lives in a ramshackle hut in the middle of 15 acres of Oklahoma woodlands, surrounded by a vast menagerie of avian and canine creatures. He's too mean to get his own internet connection, so he shares one with a friend in Florida. Don't get too close y'all, or he'll take a pot shot at you.
Loves: Chickens, Ducks, geese, dogs, hunting, shooting, fishing, ragchewing, GB3KD, 10m
Hates: Bobcats, Skunks, mirrors, M3RZS
Reputedly so ugly that his mother used to feed him with a catapult, Darryl is often heard on 'KD in the late afternoons, sparring with Desperate Doc and Toby.
You'll never hear Daryl in the mornings, because he works for the Royal Mail. Living in Kingswinford with his trusty cat Jess, he has been a familiar voice for many years, nudge nudge, wink wink...
"It's a design fault, they don't need all those components."
"This is a Magnum 44, the most powerful handgun in the world. You gotta ask yourself punk, do I feel lucky?"
Oh Gawd Blimey old bean, would you mess with this fine "chap"? He's a mean-lookin' son of a gun for sure..
Suits you sir!
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"
Look out Cat, he's behind you!
AKA the "Dick Van Dyke Of Upper Arlington"
Loves: Bar brawls, his horse "Boo", air travel, pizza, "are you being served?", "Keeping Up Appearances"
Hates: Marshals and Sheriffs, George "dubya" Bush,Tony "the tyrant" Blair.
Kat with Boo
Favourite Expresssions: "Ello ello ello!", "Oh boy!"
Apparently James doesn't live in a house, as he is only ever heard signing "stroke mobile". He reputedly has wheels where his feet should be!
Loves: Cardiff City FC, Steam trains, Sausage bacon and egg sandwiches cooked over a coal fire, driving around Cardiff. Forecasting the weather.
Hates: The swimmming pool, Speed cameras, Drivers
Favourite expressions: "Anyway", "Erm", "So there you go", "All good fun", "Yeah", "Never mind", "There we are"
The man of a thousand voices (and 3 callsigns!), reputedly friendly with Auntie Mary's evil sister.
Kevin is the system operator of the MB7ICY link, which is often linked to 'KD. He is only heard at weekends, on the way to and from the airfield from where he flies his microlite. He is never heard on weekdays! Therefore we conclude that he exists only at weekends, created from nothingness on Saturday mornings, and returning to nothingness on Sunday night. Either that, or he's really a space pilot, running inter-galactic missions for 5 days a week.
Mike was nicknamed "goldfish" by his friends (change your friends Mike!), because he has a poor memory. He is exceptionally clumsy and accident prone. When not tearing around on (and falling off) his sister's pink glittery Barbie bike, he's cruisin' in his souped up hot hatchback. (*)
Mike started his radio career on CB, progressing later to PMR446, then gaining his foundation licence in 2005.
When not boozing and cruising, he can sometimes be found on 'KD late at night, from 10:30pm till about 1am.
Likes: Cruisin, Boozin, Pirate radio, Mates, Car modding, I.C.E., Hunnies, Music
Hates: Wafflers, Running out of credit on his mobie, PC Plod
(*)Mike recently ditched this 1.4 litre car in favour of an inconscpicuous 2 litre Golf GTI, which has no reverse gear and no lights. He wants to go FAST, forwards, and not be caught!! Pics when we have them.
Will now lives in Abingdon and comes in via Echolink, but used to hold the GB3KD RF DX record from his old QTH in Swindon. He prefers V/U/SHF to HF.
Likes: GB3KD, Chasing VHF DX records, mashing up old Montegos, Linux, Broadcast DXing, Linears, Home construction, Echolink
Hates: The Brunel Rooms.
Mel was nicknamed "The Bad Penny", because he always turns up when you're having a QSO. His callsign was deliberately chosen to match his accent, and can also be taken to mean "Yakker In the Midlands". Apparently a "Yakker" is a coal miner from near Newcastle. Mel's interests include Red Indians. He's very popular with the ladies too.
Dave runs the MB7IBC (Black Country) link.
G4ROJ "controlling" one of his kite aerials. Whilst carrying out this complex towing manoeuvre, he will often be heard shouting "OH NO! NOT AGAIN, ANOTHER PILE OF SH*T".
We are assured that this is a technical term, and is an essential part of Roger's style of kite flying.
G4ROJ is very happy to see anyone on his expeditions, but if you wish to speak to him, we strongly advise doing so on air, as face to face contact will entail you standing several yards upwind of him.
"Mark, I've just slipped over in some sheep sh*t!"
You are never alone on GB3KD - for everyone who speaks, there are a dozen earwiggers.
"I heard you calling CQ last night and getting no reply!"
Apparently, they have problems using a microphone because they can't decide which of their six hands to hold it with...
Circling silently in the murky waters of the Echolink connection, these foreign predators patiently wait to leap out and catch their prey when least expected.
Once the quarry is spotted, the shark will single-mindedly pursue it, ignoring and scattering the rest of the group, who abandon the hapless victim to fend for itself.
Sharks are clever. They normally feed in UK evening time, but will readily adapt to their prey's routine. Even when the shark barriers are in place, they have been known to find the weak points of the defences, so you are never truly safe. Some people should never venture alone onto KD!
Right, you've managed to break into a convivial QSO, and you've got the mike (or the spacebar). Relax, take a long leisurely drag of your fag, speak slowly, and emphasise every point, over and over, from every possible angle. Like a terrier, keep on making your point until you bore everyone into submission....
Some bores don't realise how boring they are. Others are simply too self-obsessed to care. As far as they are concerned, they are the centre of the universe and no-one else matters. Having alienated half the world, the Echolink bores end up sharking on KD because we're too polite to tell them to fuck off. Luckily, KD is not on 80 metres and it's in a valley, so most of the radio-based bores can't get in, ha ha. Bores tend to be paranoid, and they know this is aimed at them personally.
Bores love: The sound of their own voices (they're the only ones who do!), being the centre of attention, getting their point across
Bores Hate: Being ignored [don't ever talk to them, they'll come back all the more], being excluded, 3 minute timeouts (a personal affront. How dare we cut them off when they're just getting into the swing!), anyone else's point of view
GB3KD's jammers have not yet learned how to speak. The best they can do is mess around with DTMF (yawn).
Obviously *I* can't, but with your prostate I bet *you* can't either!
(Webmistresses: Charlotte & Emily Bronte - please send gossip and pictures to: charlottebronte(at)blueyonder.co.uk)
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